Are You Who You Want to Be? - Blog 11: Self Discipline

Always Improving 

I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change. 

I wanna get better, better, better, better. 

- Bleachers, I Wanna Get Better

1. Praying and reading The Bible 
2. Eating well and exercising
3. Using my study time wisely, avoiding distractions
4. Regulating my sleep schedule
5. Balancing work and play 

Listed above are just five areas of my life that I know I need to devote greater discipline to. For the most part, each of these five areas requires the same solution: setting aside specific times to complete each task. By allotting portions of my day to Bible study, exercise, academics, sleep, and relaxation; I can alleviate my stress levels and ensure that each day includes the appropriate amount of "have to, need to, and want to."

Admirable Drive 

With all these things I wait for revolution
These things ask the biggest question to me
And it's are you what you want to be.

- Foster the People, Are You Who You Want to Be

Perhaps the most disciplined person in my life is my aunt. She understands that it's not enough to simply want something to change, you have to work to change it. About a year and a half ago, she began working out, hoping to lose weight that was beginning to cause health problems. Since then, she has lost over 100 pounds. She's healthier now, and much happier too. She now knows that with discipline and determination, she is capable of anything. 

Accountability Matters

And every day that you want to waste, 

that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, 

and you want to wake, you can

- Foster the People, Waste

If we were the only people affected by our actions, we could choose to spend our days however we wished. However, the truth is that others depend on us, holding us accountable to our words and deeds. I am accountable for my words and choices, and I'm held accountable not only by myself, but also by those I represent. I am also accountable for my grades, which are monitored by my professors and the university. My boss holds me accountable for my performance at work, and my roommate for the cleanliness of my space. Ultimately, we're all accountable for many different aspects of our lives, and should take responsibility for them. 

Every Journey Needs A Map - Blog 10: Your Mission

Reaching Up

Dream on,

dream until your dreams come true.

- Aerosmith, Dream On

The following is my personal mission statement as developed by www.franklincovey.com/msb. Overall, I agree with the way it turned out. It displays the facets of my personality, and my goals, adequately and accurately. I look forward to being able to apply this to my life, and I hope that it will serve as a guide on the path to attaining my dreams and loving the skies I'm under. 

I am at my best when I am being motivated and encouraged by those around me, especially when there is pressure to perform well.I will try to prevent times when I feel as though my actions don't matter or won't make a significant contribution to the group.
I will enjoy my work by finding employment where I can talk to people; getting to know them and helping them to excel.
I will find enjoyment in my personal life through the pursuit of culture; movies, books, and music.
I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as communication and public speaking, mothering, problem solving, empathizing, and organization.
I can do anything I set my mind to. I will revisit major criminal cases that have already gone to trial in pursuit of new, convicting evidence.
My life's journey is shining a light for Christ. He has shown me hope and salvation, and I hope that I can be the path through which others find Him. I may do this on a small scale, for my family and those I work with, but it is still a journey of great importance, as its result is salvation.
I will be a person who is surrounded by my friends and family, looking back on a life I'm proud of. I want them to be able to say that I elicited positive change in their lives and the lives of all I touched.
My most important future contribution to others will be share the love of Christ. Luckily, this can be done in many different ways: through words, teaching, love, and actions.
I will stop procrastinating and start working on:

• Judging others less

• Complaining less

• Discipling myself

I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life:

• Strength

• Faith

• Determination

I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life:

• Sleep

• Prayer

• Stimulating my mind

• Building relationships

There's Always Someone - Blog 9: Board of Advisors

Someone to Trust 

Maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me,

and after all, 

you're my wonderwall.

- Oasis, Wonderwall

I love the idea of a Board of Advisers, the people you look to during your time of need. It's a group of people you trust enough to be fully dependent upon, especially when making decisions. Unsurprisingly, most of my advisers have been introduced here already. My mother, Dee, and my sister, Maddie, each hold a seat. I've been dependent upon them for most of my life, so it's natural that they'd be included. Coach also has a spot on the board. He played an integral role in one of the most pivotal years of my life, and I hold his opinion in high regard. The fourth position on my BOA belongs to Trish, who serves as my voice of reason. Finally, Phil, my pastor, rounds out my board. He offers a spiritual perspective that I consider immensely important. 

Phil 

Someone to Inspire

Honey, with you

is the only honest way to go.
- Vampire Weekend, Run

Of my board members, Coach always presented me with the biggest challenges. He encouraged me to chase my dreams, and then gave me the tools to attain them. Of course, learning to use these tools was rarely an enjoyable process. Anyone who has ever tested the principle "Practice makes perfect," knows how much practice is required to reach perfection. During some of those practices, Coach saw me at my worst, but he pushed me to be my best, and because of him, I was the best. There were times I wanted to disagree with him, but trusting him was always the best option for success. 

Someone to Run To 

When there's no light to break up the dark,

that's when I look at you.

- Miley Cyrus, When I Look at You

Dee and Maddie will always be the people I can run to for help, my safe place to land. Being away from them has been hard for me, but it has only taught me to appreciate them more. I trust their advice because I know they want only the best for me. The same is true of Phil, but on a different scale. Along with having a personal, friendly relationship, Phil is representative of a deeper relationship with Christ. When it comes to making decisions, He is the the true advisor, and the safest place to land. 

Someone to be Thankful For

One of these days, I'll be born and raised

and it's such a waste to grow up lonely.

- John Mayer, Born and Raised

Trish is easily the most dynamic member of my BOA. We have an unexpected friendship, in that we have entirely opposite points of view. While we share similar goals and values, we typically disagree on how best to accomplish them. And, Trish is always honest about her disagreement, even when it hurts. But this is what makes our friendship work, and it's exactly why I value her so much. I've grown up with her by my side, and I've learned some of the most important lessons from her along the way.

Ultimately, my BOA serves as a point of reference, guidance, and love. They've served key roles in shaping who I am, and who I have yet to become. 

When it's all said and done

you can walk instead of run

because no matter what you'll never be alone. 

- Lady Antebellum, Compass

I Smile When You Speak - Leader in the Field

A Star is Born

She’s a picture of her mama in heels and pearls,

trying to make in her daddy’s world,

an American girl.

- Trisha Yearwood, X’s and O’s

Just under a month ago, I had the blessing of interviewing Casey Delaney in relation to her experience with leadership and the OU law school. I could easily fill an entire post gushing about what an inspiration she is, but I’ll save that for the end. Instead, I’ll start at the beginning.

Casey and I began our interview with basic information about where she’s from, and how she came to be the Associate Dean of the College of Law. Casey grew up in El Reno, Oklahoma, and completed her undergraduate program at Oklahoma State University (but we’ll forgive her for that). Luckily, she saw the light and was drawn to OU’s law school by its relatively low cost of tuition, calling it “the best school [in the state] for the lowest price.” In fact, Casey loved OU Law so much that she gave up a full ride scholarship at another school to attend here. However, her love for the law started long before her decision to attend OU. Casey competed in mock trial in high school, and credits John Grisham novels with igniting her interest in the legal field. 

The Path to Stardom

It’s all about the climb.

- Miley Cyrus, The Climb

Casey was full of great advice for aspiring lawyers. To truly be successful in the field, you have to start early, and it was clear that Casey had. From her personal experience, she listed three habits to apply during undergrad that will aid in law school: 

• Read a lot, especially the news. Work to open your mind now, along with taking the time to read for fun, because there will be little time for that later on. 
• Take law-related courses in your undergrad; this will put you a step ahead for law school. 
• Develop a servant’s heart, a spirit for community service. 

• Casey expounded on the importance of this by stating that the legal industry is ultimately a service industry. She captured the essence of this with the words “No matter what area of the law, you’re helping someone in their time of greatest need.” 

One of the most insightful moments of the interview was when I asked Casey about her biggest challenges of studying and practicing law. She said that as a student, time management was always tough. Law school requires balance, and you can’t cram and expect success. Once she had begun practicing, she was surprised by the business side of the law. Lawyers aren’t just practicing the law; they’re running businesses. To combat this, she suggests taking business courses before entering law school. 

Shine Bright 

The opposite of love’s indifference. 

- The Lumineers, Stubborn Love 

The thing that truly struck me about Casey was her passion. There’s no doubt that she loves what she does, and that’s a quality I hope to emulate in the future. Through my questions, I was able to get to the heart of her passion: compassion. While practicing, Casey volunteered her time with Oklahoma Lawyers for Children (http://www.olfc.org/?page_id=196), a pro bono organization that offers legal representation for children within the custody of DHS. She spoke of the obligation lawyers have to “represent the underrepresented, and to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.” This idea resonated deeply with me, because it’s my exact motivation for pursuing law. Casey’s work with children also correlates to her definition of leadership in relation to the law. A lawyer must recognize the need to lead gently, rather than intimidating. “Ultimately,” she says, “the best leadership for a client is sometimes friendship, wisdom, and the assurance they are receiving good counsel.” She further mentioned that most law firms encourage partners to pursue their side passions and interests, like Casey did. 

Shooting Stars Choose Their Own Trajectory 

But if I learned anything at all, 

it was to always be true to yourself.

- Tristan Prettyman, Anything at All

There was one question I was burning to ask, “Are women at a disadvantage in this field?” Obviously, Casey’s doing extremely well for herself, but the image of a courtroom is still highly  patriarchal. Luckily, Casey assured me that while it remains a man’s world, women are becoming more frequent practitioners of the law. In fact, it’s not that women are at a disadvantage, but that they make different life choices than men. While these choices are entirely respectable, they tend to send women down different paths. This led to a discussion of how Casey’s path has changed since she started. 

“If you had told me when I graduated law school in 2005 that I would be an assistant dean of a law school, I would have told you ‘You’re crazy.’” Casey thought she’d practice law until the day she retired. However, she said she wouldn’t change any part of her journey to become who she is today. This experience taught her to keep an open mind about the future, which is advice she imparts in all of her students. “As a lawyer, I could impact a few people, but in this role, I could send out five hundred students to impact the world.”

Where it Landed 

You take a deep breath as you walk through the doors,

it’s the morning of your very first day. 

- Taylor Swift, Fifteen 

Well, well, you,

you make my dreams come true. 

- Hall and Oates, You Make My Dreams 

Without a doubt, Casey Delaney impacted me. When I walked into the OU College of Law on September 25th, I had one objective: don’t look like a lost freshman. When I left, I felt like I had found a home here at OU, and it was everything I had dreamt it would be. Casey was warm and open; I related to everything she had to say. Our interview reassured me that law is what I want to do with my life. My bucket wasn’t just full, it was overflowing, a fact made even more beautiful because we had spent our time discussing Casey, not me. I’m so thankful that she took the time to meet with me. Casey truly loves the skies she under, and she inspires me to do the same. 

Where To? - Blog 8: Future @ OU

Loving the Skies I'm Under 

It feels like

feels like a coming of age.

- Foster the People, Coming of Age

My ultimate goal for my time here is to come of age, while learning to love the skies I'm under. This concept really involves coming into myself, and loving the person I'm becoming. College is the time to grow up and make a place for yourself in the world; that's what I see myself doing here. More than anything, I want to enjoy the role I create. 

However, these are mostly abstract ideas. Because I know the question "What do you see yourself doing at OU?" was meant more realistically, I'll answer that as well. 

I love volunteering. Honestly, I feel like we should all give back to Norman, because they're providing us with a home for four of the most important years of our lives. I want to make my mark on my school and my community through my volunteerism. I also want to began paving the way for my future. To do this, I want to get involved with the College of Communication, and the Law School. In fact, there's an open house next week that I'm really looking forward to.

Some Kind of Spirit

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

you're so fine you blow my mind,

hey Mickey!

- Toni Basil, Mickey

If I could do anything here at OU, regardless of ability, it would be cheer. I was a cheerleader in high school, and I loved it. I didn't enjoy every aspect of it, but at the end of the day, it was the one thing I did that was entirely for me. It made me happy. I wasn't the best dancer, and I didn't have the highest toe touch, but I did have the most spirit. Like I said, cheering made me happy, and that happiness always shone through. Now that that outlet is gone, I miss it. 

The Most Important Investments

Where you invest your love,

you invest your life.

- Mumford and Sons, Awake My Soul

Honestly, I don't even feel bad about reusing this lyric. Its meaning is universally applicable. In this case, it relates to interests. The things we're interested become our lives, and we ought to live lives we're proud of. For me, those interests are passions. I'm passionate about Christ, my family, children, communicating and relating to others, and coming to the aid of those who otherwise can't defend themselves. Overall, I think I've done a great job of acting on those interests here. I've started attending a wonderful church, I visit home when I can, I work with children daily, and I'm pursuing studies relevant to Law and Communications. 

Goals for Getting There

There's a dream in the future;

there's a struggle that we have yet to win. 

- Queen Latifah, I Know Where I've Been 

Several blogs ago, I listed some goals to aid in loving the skies I'm under. Essentially, they were to draw close to God, keep in touch with my friends and family, and maintain a 4.0 while getting involved on campus. Honestly, I'd be lying if I claimed to pull all of these off perfectly, but that's not to say I'm doing badly. 

• I know I need to concentrate on Christ more. If I'd let him, he'd be my rock during these times of transition, but I have a tendency to take things into my own hands. 
• I talk to those at home as frequently as possible, but I miss them constantly. I hate the idea of missing out on my best friend's senior year, or not being there to help my little sister navigate high school. 
• I'm still not as involved as I'd like to be, but I am more active than I was when writing the goal. Luckily, I am maintaining the grades I want. 

Ultimately, I'm well on my way to loving my skies, even if there have been a few bumps in the road. 

But There's Something About Her - Blog 7: Attitude

Let's Get Together

I owe it all to the mistake he made back then,

I owe it all to my girl's ex boyfriend.

- Relient K, My Girl's Ex Boyfriend

"Attitude is everything." We've heard it before, or at least read it from a poster in our middle school classroom. But like so many cliches, it's true. Attitude is everything, especially when a group is involved. Anytime you get large numbers of people together, there are going to be differing opinions. The important thing is that some member of the group is positive. No group task will be successful if it's overrun by negativity. It's contagious. But luckily, the same is true of positive thinking. Every group needs an encourager, a motivator. It's this person who ensures that group tasks not only get done, but that the group can enjoy doing them. 

I think this song truly captures the essence of positive thinking. The song writer could so easily be resentful of his girl's ex boyfriend, refusing to acknowledge him at all. Instead, he's thankful for the man who gave him the opportunity to meet the woman he loves. That's positivity at it's finest. And on top of all of that, the song's a metaphor for Christ. 

Call it Charisma 

I smile when you speak.

- Foster the People, I Would Do Anything for You 

Several blogs ago, I talked about Coach. Last year, he was a leader in my life, and I continue to look to him for advice. He's the kind of person you just want to follow. Some people would call that charisma, but it all comes down to attitude. That's the something that people want to follow. Coach has exactly the attitude every coach needs. Encouraging, full of tough love, a desire to win that exceeds that of every team member combined, yet the work ethic to get there. Coach never doubted that we could bring home a state championship; his attitude about that was always positive. But that doesn't mean that his attitude was complacent. Coach has drive and passion. Everything he said to us was meant to instill in us the same drive. His words were important. We, the team, wanted a championship because he wanted a championship. We were motivated just by being around him. Attitude has the power to do that. 

Take That Straight to the Bank

'Cause in a sky full of stars,

I think I see you.

- Coldplay, Sky Full of Stars

"Our attitudes are our most important assets."

The idea of an asset implies some sort of financial gain, and the same is true of attitude; it's a bankable skill. A great leader is determined by his or her attitude. Attitude correlates to the number of followers a leader has. The better the attitude, the higher the number of followers. Followers lend themselves to productivity, and through a good attitude, a business or organization thrives. 

In college, you can chose to be involved in any number of opportunities. Ultimately, people stay with the ones that make them happiest. These groups stand out from the others because of the attitudes they represent. Attitude is important because in a sea of negativity, a positive attitude is what could make you stand out.

You Might Be Missing Something

Take note that all of this week's songs were love songs. This furthers the importance of attitude. We all want love, and I believe that you ultimately fall in love with a person's personality, their attitude. Have an attitude worth falling for. 

I'm Pressing On - Blog 6: Problem vs. Challenge

Rise Above

Raise up to your ability.

- Foster the People, Houdini

Earlier today, one of my favorite topics came up in class: how to approach a challenge or a problem. I love this because it gave me the opportunity to understand how my peers operate under pressure. We also discussed why the two are not the same. Ultimately, their differences are subtle, yet extremely important. The word "problem" has a negative connotation; it's something that simply gets handled. A challenge, however, is overcome. Whether or not a situation becomes a problem or a challenge is up to the individual facing it.  

Next Time

This time, baby

I'll be bulletproof.

- La Roux, Bulletproof

Everyone experiences problems; that's a fact of life. Luckily, we're often given the chance to correct our mistakes, and fix our problems. It's in this moment that a problem becomes a challenge.
For me, the problem began in April of 2013. I was a junior, competing in Domestic Extemporaneous Speaking in the State Speech and Debate Tournament for the second year. The year before, I had managed to qualify for finals, with little coaching or preparation beforehand. Unfortunately, that was painfully clear in the finals round, and it resulted in my placing sixth. Junior year, I was ready to change that. I qualified for finals again, this time with better preliminary rankings. I even received a great topic: politicians involved in scandals.
In finals, I gave what was at that point the best speech of my life. I discussed Romney's unfortunate remarks on women, Clinton's extramarital affair, and Reagan's Watergate. Just in case you didn't catch that, REAGAN'S WATERGATE. Needless to say, the judges caught it. I had made a deadly slip, confusing Nixon and Reagan at a crucial moment. Despite all of that, I placed fourth, but I was not pleased.
It was out of this problem that one of my most significant challenges was born: the desire to win. Senior year, it became my goal to redeem myself and finally bring home a Domestic Extemp victory. And let me say, it was nothing if not challenging. I worked harder than ever before. Countless tears came as the result of subpar practice speeches. But in the end, it all paid off. In 2014, I faced the state tournament more prepared than ever before. I made finals and spoke with passion, feeling like I left a piece of my soul on the stage behind me (like I've said before, speech was a major part of my life). After that speech, I knew that if I didn't win, it wasn't meant to be.

But as it turns out, every challenge can be overcome. 

Hold on Just a Little Bit Longer 

When the waves are taking you under,

hold on just a little bit longer,

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger.

- Mandisa, Stronger

I'll be honest, I've always struggled with trying to solve problems and challenges for myself, instead of immediately looking to the Lord. But, I'm trying to do better about that. We're told in the Scripture that God tests us so we can learn to rely on Him. I know this, but my pesky human nature tells me I can handle it alone. Usually, I try to overcome my challenges through perseverance and determination, and when that fails, I pray to put my challenges in the Lord's hands, trusting His will. The reality is that I have this process backwards. The Lord has blessed me with strengths like belief and achiever, which help in overcoming challenges, but He never intended that I use those gifts to replace Him. I need to allow God an active role in overcoming my challenges. I think I'll find I like the skies more that way. 

Wouldn't You Like to Know? - Blog 5: Letter from OU

Think Ahead, 

Have no fear,

these are nowhere near the best years of your life.

- Brad Paisley, Letter to Me

High school is hard, especially in Middleofamerica, Oklahoma. College gets better. But first, it takes work. I loved growing up at MHS, but the reality is that it did not prepare me for college. I had to do a lot for myself. I you want to truly be successful, you'll have to as well. Here's my short list of tips for getting into a good school enjoying your time there:

1. Study for the ACT.

No, really. The reason you don't like your current score is because you aren't working hard enough to change it. Most of your class, yourself included, can't afford college without financial aid. A good ACT score is, in my opinion, the best way to get scholarships.

2. Volunteer

There are so, so many great reasons to volunteer. Because we're called to give, because you recognize the need, because it makes you feel good. Middleofamerica has countless opportunities, you only need to look for them. Remember what I said about needing scholarships and financial aid? Community service hours make up a HUMONGOUS amount of scholarship criteria, just in case you needed another reason.

3. Lead

When you get to college, you're going to want to get involved on campus. In order to do this, you need to be involved now, especially in leadership positions. Middleofamerica is small. MHS has about 500 students. To get leadership roles in college, you'll be competing against people who served as student body president in high schools larger than our town. If you want your resume to to even be read, it will need to be full of activities, awards, and leadership roles. But let me clarify this. You should still be passionate about the things you do, because that passion will always shine through. Just don't be afraid of doing too much. As a side note, LEADERSHIP IS ALSO A MAJOR COMPONENT OF MOST SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATIONS.

4. Start the Common App early.

That thing is scary. It takes time, and early admission deadlines will be here before you know it. Devote yourself to filling in one section a day, and you'll have it done in no time. You can have a week to do the optional essays. But please, don't think that because they're "optional," you don't have to do them. They determine whether or not you get scholarships from the specific university you're applying for. 

5. APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS

If you don't do anything else while preparing for college, do this. Do it. Apply for every single one you see. It's free money, and college is expensive. Scholarships are the difference between you going to a university, or community college. There's absolutely nothing wrong with staying at home, but you're capable of anything, and you should want the best for yourself. Apply for scholarships so you can have it. 

But Please, Love the Skies You're Under at the Moment

You can say goodbye, and you can say hello,

but you'll always find your way back home.

- Hannah Montana, You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home

(Yes, I did just quote Hannah Montana on my college blog, but in all fairness, Taylor Swift wrote the song.)

Anyway, please understand the point I'm making here. You might be the person who grew up saying you hated Middleofamerica and would never come back after graduating, but you will. You grew up there, and the town made you who you are. Cherish what might be your last year there. I promise, senior year will be your best year to date. The memories are clearer, the people are nicer, the classes are easier, and it's just a great time to be alive. Prepare for college, but don't forget to enjoy the time you have right now. 

But Also, Try New Horizons

Home is wherever I'm with you.

- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Home

If you plan to live in the dorms, you will be tempted to room with someone you know. You'll justify this to yourself by saying that you already know this person, you'll be comfortable around them, they'll remind you of home. Realize that home is wherever you make it. And by rooming with a friend, you run the risk of bringing unhappiness into your home. The reality is that many pairs of roommates who knew one another before college do not remain friends after freshman year. Before deciding that you want to room with a specific person, ask yourself if a little awkwardness in the first few weeks of getting to know a know person is worth risking a friendship. Don't be afraid of signing up for a random roommate; the experience will be good for you. You'll make new friends, and you'll be surprised to find that they feel like home too. 

I ask that you at least consider this. I know what it's like to room with a friend, until everything falls apart. It's a hassle, and it hurts. Honestly, the situation darkened my metaphorical sky for a while. But I'm on my way to sunnier skies now, and I want the same for you. 

When No One's Looking - Blog 4: Bystander Behavior

Wouldn't That Save You?

So, help me decide

help me to make up, make up my mind.

Wouldn't that save you? 

- Matthew Perryman Jones, Save You

Oftentimes, we get so caught up in indecision that we don't act until it's too late. Other times, we make the conscious decision not to act at all. This is a shame, especially in cases when our actions could have significantly helped others. Dr. Alan Berkowitz has conducted extensive research on this tendency toward inaction. He calls it bystander behavior. This takes place when we recognize a problem that we have the power to solve, yet for whatever reason, we choose not to exercise that power. We justify this behavior by assuring ourselves that the problem isn't ours to handle, or even worse, that the problem does not exist. Each of us, myself included, has been guilty of bystander behavior at some point.

The Girl With the Broken Smile

Look for the girl with the broken smile,

ask her if she wants to stay awhile,

and she will be loved.

 - Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved

In high school, I had the joy of knowing one of the nicest girls you could ever meet. Unfortunately, her boyfriend wasn't so nice. I wouldn't call their relationship abusive, just unhealthy. Bystanders, like myself, saw that she deserved so much better. In fact, we wanted better for her. But she didn't want better for herself. I can't say that I personally confronted her about the relationship, but I discussed it with others multiple times, and I know they did. Looking back on it now, I wish I had spoken up. Sure, some of my classmates told her to break up with him, to get out from under those negative influences. Obviously, whatever they said wasn't enough, because she's still with him today. I can't help but think that I could have said the right thing, the thing that finally convinced her to let go. If I had, how much pain could I have saved the girl who never deserved to get hurt? 

Oh, Darlin' Don't You Ever Grow Up

Oh darling don't you ever grow up,

don't you ever grow up,

just stay this little. 

- Taylor Swift, Never Grow Up

Victims of Sandy Hook

I believe that the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School is one of the greatest tragedies of my generation. Twenty seven people lost their lives. Twenty one of them were children who will never grow up. If someone had stepped in, or even shown kindness to the shooter, Adam Lanza, those children could still be alive today. Events like that massacre are the exact reason we should work to end bystander behavior. 

I Almost Do

And every time I don't,

I almost do.

- Taylor Swift, I Almost Do

Contextually, I know I'm reaching with this lyric, so just forget the context. Focus on the words. Focus on almost. To modify a cliché, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. "Almost" helping someone never helped anyone. I think college students often forget that. In college, it's so easy to get caught up in "me," that we can quickly forget about others. When we do make an effort to help, it's not always our best effort. College students need to stop focusing on themselves, or worrying about what society may think, and start standing up to help. We have so much more power than we realize. We have to stop standing by, and starting using the power we've been given.

What Really Matters - Blog 3: Priorities

Where You Invest Your Love

Where you invest your love,

you invest your life. 

- Mumford and Sons, Awake My Soul

Time is love.

- Josh Turner, Time is Love

You know I have a point to make when the lyrics of two separate songs are required. Here it is: Time is valuable because it's limited; God only gives us so much. Because we understand this, we choose to devote our time to the things which are most important to us, the things we love. And as we go on living, the things we love become our lives. We have to be sure that we're devoting our time to the right things if we really want to use our measured lives to make an immeasurable impact. That's why we have to prioritize. Unfortunately, too many people find themselves at the end of their time with the realization that their priorities weren't what they should have been. In Developing the Leader Within You, John C. Maxwell wrote of a study which found that those on their deathbeds have a common regret of not having done more that would live on after them. I can only hope that when I reach that point, I can't say the same. 

Past Investments and Future Returns

I don't know much about monetary investments, so I won't try to make that parallel here, but I believe the purpose of investing money is the hope of its returns. I believe the same is true in life. Time, like money, is valuable, so we put our time into the things we think will offer us the most returns. For me, this has always been Christ, my family and friends, academics, and extracurriculars. Now that I've started college, these things haven't stopped being priorities, but I have had to learn new ways to handle them. 

Christ

I've spoken in past posts about finding Christ and my church family. I've always considered my relationship with God high importance, but there have been times when it wasn't high urgency. In high school, and even now, this is an ongoing struggle. As Maxwell says, priorities aren't static, but dynamic. The Lord is a priority, but if I'm honest, it takes work to keep Him at the top. In college, everything is battling for you attention, but more than anything, God deserves to be fought for. This year, keeping Christ first is my main goal. 

Friends and Family

I'm a people oriented person and proud of it. Keeping those around me happy will always be one of my top priorities. I've been blessed with family and friends that make this easy. However, prioritizing them hasn't been as easy lately as it once was. I now live hours away from those I'm closest to, and we operate on different schedules, which makes communication hard. But, I will strive to stay in touch with my loved ones. If I do this, I will have accomplished my second goal for the year.

Academics and Extracurriculars

Of my four main priorities, these two have changed the most since moving out and starting college. In high school, academics required very little of me, so my time was devoted to extracurricular activities. Now, to be academically successful, I have to meet higher demands. Because of this, I have had significantly less time to devote to extracurriculars than I once did. I intend to strike a balance between these two. In fact, I have made it my third goal. I want to finish this year with a 4.0 GPA, while being actively involved in no fewer than three student organizations or events. This won't be an easy accomplishment, but I have a plan.

Action Plans

Achieving long term goals requires planning. 4.0 GPAs aren't earned overnight, nor is a reputation for involvement on campus. In order to meet my third goal, I'll have to follow a modified action plan. Actually, the two facets of this goal, academic excellence and campus involvement, exist on two separate action plans, despite their being closely related.

Academic Action Plan

1. Keep a good planner, staying aware of assignment deadlines.
2. Take extensive notes in class, and devote the time necessary to do class readings.
3. Ask questions whenever I have them, utilizing email and office hours. 
4. Manage study time well; don't procrastinate.
5. Review well before quizzes and exams, using practice tests and flash cards.

By following this plan, I know I can achieve the perfect GPA I'm hoping for. 

Involvement Action Plan

1. Record due dates of Executive Staff applications. Allow adequate time for completing applications, and submit them well before they are due.
2. Interview sincerely and successfully, proving to executive boards that you desire to be a member of their organization, along with being a prime candidate for the team. 
3. Attend meetings, both for organizations you were accepted to, and those with open signups. 
4. Participate frequently in events hosted by your organization, devoting your time and efforts to each respective cause. 

Through this plan, I will be more than involved on campus, I will be an ACTIVE PARTICIPANT. This, coupled with my academic action plan, will allow me to fully accomplish my third goal. 

Nothing would make me happier than to finish this school year having met my three largest goals. That would serve as affirmation that I can be successful on my own, and I belong here. To do this, I know that I'll have to rely on Christ, while diligently following my action plans. I have faith that it's possible, and when that faith waivers, I have a support group that will hold me up. At this point, I'm only eager to see how it all plays out. 

When the Who and the What Become the Why - Blog 2: Influences

Who I Am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter

the spitting image of my father

and when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan

sometimes, I'm clueless and I'm clumsy

but I've got friends that love me

and they know just where I stand

it's all a part of me

it's who I am.
- Jessica Andrews, Who I Am

I consider this one of the songs I was raised on. As a kid, I liked the song because of Jessica Andrews' beautiful voice, and I adored the idea of a Grandma Rosemary.  Now, I have a new appreciation for the lyrics. Andrews defines herself in relation to other people and their shared experiences. As I've grown up, I've found I relate to this, because I define myself in the same way. I can pinpoint the specific people and experiences, influences, that have made me who I am. 

Those I Love - The People Who Made Me Who I Am 

I wouldn't be the man I am today

if not for those I've loved along the way. 

- Eric Church, Those I've Loved 

John C. Maxwell writes that everyone influences someone. We don't always get to see the results of our own influence, but we are lucky enough to know who has influenced us. Countless people have left their mark on my life. Some have larger story arcs than others. The ones mentioned here are those who I feel affected me most.

Dee

Dee is my mother, the strongest person I know. She's had a hard life, but she's tough. She's always pushed me to be better, especially when I was done pushing myself. She inspires me to persevere regardless, because she's proof that anything is survivable.

Jimmy

Jimmy is my dad, who serves as a reminder that we're only human. Over the years, we haven't always had the best relationship, but I've never doubted my father's love. To me, Jimmy resembles hope and the idea that if you work hard enough for something, it will all come together in the end.

Maddie, Ella, and Pete

    

Maddie, Ella, and Pete are my siblings. I can't imagine growing up without them. They forced me to grow a thicker skin, but I know that everything they've done has been in love. Maddie, although younger than me, is someone I truly look up to. She has her own brand of confidence and grace that I admire tremendously, and want to have for myself someday. Ella is several years older than me, and has a family of her own. In fact, she's married to Pete. Pete and Ella have been together since I was six years old, so I feel like following "brother" with "in-law" isn't necessary. They're fantastic parents, and I hope to one day be half the mother Ella is. Pete has influenced me in ways I'm only beginning to realize. He's played the roles of big brother, teacher, and spiritual leader. My siblings are one of the most fantastic blessings in my life.

Luke and Trish

Luke and Trish are my closest friends, the people, outside of my family, with whom I have the most authentic relationship. They've taught me what it means to give love to those who show love differently. I value their advice highly, and I trust them to be honest, yet warm towards me, whatever the occasion.

John

John was in my life only a short time, but in that period, he taught one of the most important lessons: you can't always get what you want. Sometimes things don't go the way we have planned, and more often than not, it's for the best. It took me a long time to realize this, and even longer to be thankful for it.

Coach

"Coach" was my speech and debate coach during my senior year of high school.  There were over forty competitors on our team, yet I felt that he made a true investment in me. Coach helped me to see the importance of practice, and instilled in me a drive for perfection that applies to all aspects of my life, not just speech and debate.

**DISCLAIMER ABOUT THOSE I LOVE**

To protect the privacy of my loved ones, they have all been referred to by aliases. The accompanying photos are who would play them in my biopic.

Every Stumbled Step that Got Me Here - The Experiences that Shaped Me

I'd relive all the years

and be thankful for the tears

I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you

and got me here. 

- Rascal Flatts, Here

As it turns out, there are actually several Rascal Flatts lyrics that would fit into this context, but there's a certain level of drama to the following stories, so I thought this one would be most appropriate. In fact, the "you" in question here is me. These experiences have led me to become the person I am today.

A Place to Call Home

When I was in the sixth grade, my parents divorced. However, this isn't to be viewed as a negative experience. Sure, it was sad, and hard, but in many ways, my life was better for it. As a result of the split, when I was in the seventh grade, my mother, sister, and I joined a church. This is easily the best thing to happen in my life thus far. In a small Free Will Baptist church in the mountains of my hometown, I discovered what it truly means to live for Christ. I watched people do it daily. The church became my home, the place I went to visit my family, my Heavenly Father especially. My time spent there prepared me to go out into the world with love, joy, and a message of salvation.

Will and Choices

This is Will (not really, but we're pretending). I chose to save Will for the experiences passage because his influence on me is tied to a specific instance. In the interest of my personal privacy, I won't go into much detail about Will, only to say that his actions left me to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I felt betrayed by my best friend, and I'm embarrassed to say that for awhile, I wasn't very kind about it. But, I eventually decided that my friendship was more important to me than my pride or bitterness. Will taught me how to love through the pain. Even when he's no longer a part of my life, his lesson is one I will carry. 

Winning's Not the Last Step on the Path, But the First

In April of my junior year of high school, I won Lincoln-Douglas debate at the state speech and debate tournament. Up until that point, I didn't realize the power my voice could have. That year, we were arguing the justification of intervening in other countries to stop human rights abuses. It awoke a passion within me. I knew that I wanted to spend my life helping others, I just wasn't aware that I could do it on a larger scale. My success with debate has encouraged me to become a lawyer, a district attorney, in fact. I want to spend my time fighting for those who don't have the means or opportunity to fight for themselves.

Looking for Myself Out Here - Looking Back on These Influences

Was it everything you wanted to find

and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

- Train, Drops of Jupiter

It's easy to see that all of these influences have come from my past. I've since moved away from my hometown and the loved ones I've mentioned. I'm out here finding myself, but I miss them dearly. I have to believe that they'll continue to play a role in my life well into the future. Sure, since graduation, my relationships with most, if not all of them, have changed. I no longer see my family daily. Luke, Trish, and I can't take our friendship for granted when we live several hours apart. Lucky, I have not lost any of my influences completely. In fact, some of the most surprising relationships have strengthened with distance. I'm also looking forward to gaining new influences here at college. This process of growing up, growing together, and growing apart is just another step towards loving the skies I'm under. 

No Less Than Jess - Blog 1: Creation

What's in a name?

The name of this blog, Learning to Love the Skies I'm Under, is inspired by the song Hopeless Wanderer (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mumfordsons/hopelesswanderer.html) by the British folk band Mumford and Sons. While I don't consider myself a wanderer, I do adore this idea of loving the skies you're under. To me, this is essentially the idea of being happy with where you are in life, wherever that may be. We don't always have the power to control our situations, but we do determine how we respond to them. I'm choosing to be happy. This is me, learning to love the skies I'm under.

Mumford and Sons

Now on to My Name

I'm Jessie Elizabeth Hearn. I'm eighteen years old. I think my life is best summed up by the Tom Petty lyric "She's a good girl, loves her momma. Loves Jesus, and America too." (You'll find I relate most things back to music.) I have what I consider "classic values." I love my family, Jesus Christ, and this beautiful country. 

My life thus far can be measured in three stages, all of them involving "speech" in some way. As a child, I had a severe speech impediment, resulting in intensive therapy twice each week until fifth grade. Between grades six and eight, I was learning to find my voice. In high school, my voice found me: speech and debate. The competitive speech program at my high school served as my outlet for self expression, and is responsible for my self confidence today. In a broad sense, speech has been with me in every step of my journey. I began by learning how to say things, matured into deciding what I wanted to say, and finally discovered how best to make others want to listen. I went from describing my first day of pre-K as "playing wit de bees and gils" (boys and girls) to a valedictory speech, "I'll miss these boys and girls." Along the way, speech has played a tremendous role in my life. Expect this theme to reappear. 

But do others know my name?

Leadership is so much more than the number of people that know your name. To me, leadership is dependent upon relationships. Those you lead should genuinely want to follow you. In fact, as John Maxwell writes in Developing the Leader Within You, having healthy relationships with those you lead is one of the highest attainable levels of leadership. In my opinion, I have yet to reach this level. But that's okay, I'm only eighteen, and I have years to go. Right now, I consider myself what Maxwell calls a "position leader." I've just gotten started in a new environment. As I've yet to establish myself, others only follow me when they have to. Yet, I'm determined to change that. As I get to know new friends here at OU, join organizations, and start to forge my path, I'll climb the leadership ladder. I truly care about the people around me, and the relationships I form with them will help me attain my leadership goals. I'm not there yet, but I'm growing. 

But how will you get your name out?

Simple, by using my strengths. I recently took a U-Zoo personality assessment, which told me I was a "koala." Basically, this means I'm a caring, careful, people oriented person.

Self Portrait

 I agree with this, as you can probably see from the post thus far. I'm excited to see where this assessment takes me. It came as an affirmation that concern for others is a strength, not a weakness. I plan to use my personality to my advantage, without taking advantage. I hope it takes me far. Leadership, here I come.