When the Who and the What Become the Why - Blog 2: Influences

Who I Am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter

the spitting image of my father

and when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan

sometimes, I'm clueless and I'm clumsy

but I've got friends that love me

and they know just where I stand

it's all a part of me

it's who I am.
- Jessica Andrews, Who I Am

I consider this one of the songs I was raised on. As a kid, I liked the song because of Jessica Andrews' beautiful voice, and I adored the idea of a Grandma Rosemary.  Now, I have a new appreciation for the lyrics. Andrews defines herself in relation to other people and their shared experiences. As I've grown up, I've found I relate to this, because I define myself in the same way. I can pinpoint the specific people and experiences, influences, that have made me who I am. 

Those I Love - The People Who Made Me Who I Am 

I wouldn't be the man I am today

if not for those I've loved along the way. 

- Eric Church, Those I've Loved 

John C. Maxwell writes that everyone influences someone. We don't always get to see the results of our own influence, but we are lucky enough to know who has influenced us. Countless people have left their mark on my life. Some have larger story arcs than others. The ones mentioned here are those who I feel affected me most.

Dee

Dee is my mother, the strongest person I know. She's had a hard life, but she's tough. She's always pushed me to be better, especially when I was done pushing myself. She inspires me to persevere regardless, because she's proof that anything is survivable.

Jimmy

Jimmy is my dad, who serves as a reminder that we're only human. Over the years, we haven't always had the best relationship, but I've never doubted my father's love. To me, Jimmy resembles hope and the idea that if you work hard enough for something, it will all come together in the end.

Maddie, Ella, and Pete

    

Maddie, Ella, and Pete are my siblings. I can't imagine growing up without them. They forced me to grow a thicker skin, but I know that everything they've done has been in love. Maddie, although younger than me, is someone I truly look up to. She has her own brand of confidence and grace that I admire tremendously, and want to have for myself someday. Ella is several years older than me, and has a family of her own. In fact, she's married to Pete. Pete and Ella have been together since I was six years old, so I feel like following "brother" with "in-law" isn't necessary. They're fantastic parents, and I hope to one day be half the mother Ella is. Pete has influenced me in ways I'm only beginning to realize. He's played the roles of big brother, teacher, and spiritual leader. My siblings are one of the most fantastic blessings in my life.

Luke and Trish

Luke and Trish are my closest friends, the people, outside of my family, with whom I have the most authentic relationship. They've taught me what it means to give love to those who show love differently. I value their advice highly, and I trust them to be honest, yet warm towards me, whatever the occasion.

John

John was in my life only a short time, but in that period, he taught one of the most important lessons: you can't always get what you want. Sometimes things don't go the way we have planned, and more often than not, it's for the best. It took me a long time to realize this, and even longer to be thankful for it.

Coach

"Coach" was my speech and debate coach during my senior year of high school.  There were over forty competitors on our team, yet I felt that he made a true investment in me. Coach helped me to see the importance of practice, and instilled in me a drive for perfection that applies to all aspects of my life, not just speech and debate.

**DISCLAIMER ABOUT THOSE I LOVE**

To protect the privacy of my loved ones, they have all been referred to by aliases. The accompanying photos are who would play them in my biopic.

Every Stumbled Step that Got Me Here - The Experiences that Shaped Me

I'd relive all the years

and be thankful for the tears

I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you

and got me here. 

- Rascal Flatts, Here

As it turns out, there are actually several Rascal Flatts lyrics that would fit into this context, but there's a certain level of drama to the following stories, so I thought this one would be most appropriate. In fact, the "you" in question here is me. These experiences have led me to become the person I am today.

A Place to Call Home

When I was in the sixth grade, my parents divorced. However, this isn't to be viewed as a negative experience. Sure, it was sad, and hard, but in many ways, my life was better for it. As a result of the split, when I was in the seventh grade, my mother, sister, and I joined a church. This is easily the best thing to happen in my life thus far. In a small Free Will Baptist church in the mountains of my hometown, I discovered what it truly means to live for Christ. I watched people do it daily. The church became my home, the place I went to visit my family, my Heavenly Father especially. My time spent there prepared me to go out into the world with love, joy, and a message of salvation.

Will and Choices

This is Will (not really, but we're pretending). I chose to save Will for the experiences passage because his influence on me is tied to a specific instance. In the interest of my personal privacy, I won't go into much detail about Will, only to say that his actions left me to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I felt betrayed by my best friend, and I'm embarrassed to say that for awhile, I wasn't very kind about it. But, I eventually decided that my friendship was more important to me than my pride or bitterness. Will taught me how to love through the pain. Even when he's no longer a part of my life, his lesson is one I will carry. 

Winning's Not the Last Step on the Path, But the First

In April of my junior year of high school, I won Lincoln-Douglas debate at the state speech and debate tournament. Up until that point, I didn't realize the power my voice could have. That year, we were arguing the justification of intervening in other countries to stop human rights abuses. It awoke a passion within me. I knew that I wanted to spend my life helping others, I just wasn't aware that I could do it on a larger scale. My success with debate has encouraged me to become a lawyer, a district attorney, in fact. I want to spend my time fighting for those who don't have the means or opportunity to fight for themselves.

Looking for Myself Out Here - Looking Back on These Influences

Was it everything you wanted to find

and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

- Train, Drops of Jupiter

It's easy to see that all of these influences have come from my past. I've since moved away from my hometown and the loved ones I've mentioned. I'm out here finding myself, but I miss them dearly. I have to believe that they'll continue to play a role in my life well into the future. Sure, since graduation, my relationships with most, if not all of them, have changed. I no longer see my family daily. Luke, Trish, and I can't take our friendship for granted when we live several hours apart. Lucky, I have not lost any of my influences completely. In fact, some of the most surprising relationships have strengthened with distance. I'm also looking forward to gaining new influences here at college. This process of growing up, growing together, and growing apart is just another step towards loving the skies I'm under.